BIG changes ahead of me :)

I absolutely LOVE nights like these when I get so excited and motivated about my future. I have been doing some major soul searching and looking deep inside myself lately to find out exactly what it is I want from my life, goals I want, and people I want in my life. I have encountered some bad people in my lifetime, and instead of being bitter about it Im trying to be positive and thankful for those people, who help me realize the kind of people I DO need/want in my life. I am going to be cutting out the un-necessary people in my life who only bring me down. I am sick of always giving every possible part of me to others, and constantly helping others who I honestly dont know if they would do the same. The problem with me is my pride, and i rarely ask others for help, so I never know if a person would or not. But I am a pretty good judge of character so I know I am making the right choice. I know that the root of alot of my issues is alcohol. Im not going to say that I will never drink again, because that is unrealistic, but I am definitely going to cut it out mostly until summer atleast, when I will be turning 21. I will be taking the ACT for UMC in April, exactly one month from yesterday, and I have set a goal for myself to get a 34, or atleast a 30. I realize this is a very high goal, but I know I am a very smart person, and when I actually study and apply myself, I can do great. And plus a very wise person once told me, Set your goals higher than you want, because even if you dont reach it, you will still get what you want. So I will be focusing on studying for the ACT every single day, and I think I want to try to get on the Dean's list this semester. Im not exactly sure how to do this, but I just know I can do great when I actually try, and Im sick of selling myself short. God put me on this earth for great things, and Im sick of just barely getting by and settling for less than I deserve. I am just so happy and confident in myself right now! Thats alll :) ....Gabe.

.:.Itchy Feet.:.

Soo.. When I think of itchy feet, I think of summer.
What first pops into my mind is mosquito bites.
Mosquito bites in between the toes, or on the
bottom of your feet, or even on the top are the
Worst.Things.Everrrr!!!!! Seriously.
I absolutely LOVE warm weather just for the simple
fact that I dont have to wear shoes. Being barefoot
is by far the most simple thing that makes me genuinely
happy. But where I come from, we dont have them fancy
bug sprayers. Im also from waaaay back in the woods,
where the skeeters thrive. My feet are never spared any
summer. From 20 years of experience, I've learned that
using my hair brush to itch my feet is the best thing. Its
a bittersweet feeling, because the bite itches soooo bad, but
when you itch it, it feels soooo good! ironic. maybe.
Now that im thinkin bout skeeters im dreading summer just
because they ruin my life. They itch, look gross and like I have
some odd disease, and plus now we all gotta worry bout West
Nile Disease. Thanks alot guys. OH and its the worst thing ever
when you are laying in bed, and you hear a mosquito buzzing RIGHT
in your ear, but no matter what you cant find it and kill it!!! And even
if you go completely under the covers, its still Right in your ear!!! aaaaaah.
They are like a bad dream that keeps haunting me. Soooo not excited.

--One Hundred Dislikes--

1. Bad storms
2. Answering the door
3. Answering my phone if I dont know the number
4. Clowns
5. Infomercials
6. LIARS!
7. People who try to be something theyre not
8. When people copy me
9. People who label themselves
10. Wearing a low-cut shirt in cold wind!
11. People who do drugs
12. When people repeat themselves
13. Duplicate texts
14. When people buttdial me
15. People who judge others to make themselves feel better
16. Sluts.
17. Cheaters
18. Odd numbers-except 7.
19. Worrying about money
20. Thinking about the future
21. When people cry in front of me
22. Showing emotions
23. Followers
24. Waking up early
25. "Low Battery"
26. People who let their roots grow out really long after dying their hair
27. People who dont brush their teeth
28. The sound of someone eating a banana
29. Snorers!
30. Brad Paisley
31. Darius Rucker
32. How sensitive my skin is!
33. Drunk texting
34. Apologizing
35. People who constantly complain
36. Sleeping bags
37. Shoes/Socks
38. Getting proved wrong
39. Spiders!!!!!
40. Bad dreams
41. Nosy people
42. Working
43. Heights
44. Sleeping without my nini-almost impossible
45. Fake jewelry that turns my skin green
46. Attention whores
47. Doing laundry
48. Blowdrying my hair
49. Lipgloss/chapstick
50. Beds without sheets
51. Windows without curtains
52. Annoying bumper stickers ex:if your gonna ride my ass, atleast pull my hair.... trashy.
53. The Packers. Biggest joke known to man.
54. Interstates
55. When Minnesotans like the Packers. Come on, represent.
56. How big a deal people are making the Fighting Souix name to be. get overrrr it.
57. When I forget to put my earrings in
58. Losing stuff
59. How I cant stop thinking about himmm!
60. How he dont think about me at allllll
61. Long fingernails
62. Long toenails
63. The fact that I messed up my scholarship
64. How stubborn I can be
65. Pluckin my brows
66. People who think it's funny to be rude to others
67. When I say hi to someone and they dont say hi back
68. How forgetful I can be
69. Ultimatums
70. When people invite themselves
71. How much my hair falls out
72. Doors without locks
73. 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner
74. Ex boyfriends.
75. Fake uggs
76. City life
77. Being so far from my mom!
78. Alarm clocks
79. When things break
80. Running out of something
81. The need to buy gas
82. Hospitals/Dentists
83. Mosquito bites-Especially on the toes!!
84. When socks slide off in my shoes
85. The color yellow
86. Being sick
87. Having no time for anything
88. Headbands
89. Stains
90. Car troubles
91. Having to sit here and think about things I dont like
92. Wondering what if
93. Not knowing what to do
94. Akward moments
95. Seeing someone I reaaaalllly dont feel like talking to
96. Fishing all day and not getting anything. Not even a dam bite.
97. Driving back to forks from Warroad
98. Poison Ivy
99. When people say my name wrong
100. Talking in front of the class.

--One Hundred Likes--

-My family :)
-Friends
-Animals
-Texting
-Driving Around
-Roosevelt!!
-My Gramma
-Summer sausage buns
-FISHING!
-Hilly Roads
-Roadtrips!
-Gravel roads
-My car
-Getting the last word
-Peace Signs
-Getting revenge
-Cruisin whips
-Holding hands :)
-Liquid eyeliner
-Hair straightener
-Fields
-The woods
-Driving through beltrami at night
-The sound it makes when you walk on fresh snow
-The smell of fall
-My grandpas farm
-Bundling up on a cold night
-Blacklights
-My bed
-Journals
-My Ipod
-Rain
-Blackhawk
-THE VIKES!!!!
-Waylon Jennings
-Merle Haggard
-George Jones
-Foosball
-Pool
-Small town bars
-Bad Girls Club
-American Pickers
-Getting my hair done
-Muck boots
-Browning
-Queen-Bohemian Rhapsody
-Diamond earrings
-Rock Revival jeans
-Violins
-Banjos
-Mandarine oranges!
-Corn on the cob
-Cows
-Pigs
-Climbing on hay bails
-Walking through ponds barefoot
-Being barefoot :)
-Climbing trees
-Looking for fossils
-Doing anything with my cousin/best friend Cassandra
-Cold beer :)
-Facebook
-Hearing new songs with good lyrics
-Singing at the top of my lungs
-Making collages
-Sewing
-Inside jokes
-Cabelas
-Gander Mtn
-Driving on the frozen lake
-Arguing
-Looking through my grammas old stuff
-"Northern Lights"-The Williams newspaper
-Too Talls in Williams
-Rogers/Percy's Place in Roosie
-Juice pouches
-Driving over bridges
-Chaos
-My nini (baby blanket)
-My coach shoes
-Sunglasses
-Cleaning my car
-Ice castles
-The smell of my grandpas shop
-The smell of freshly cut trees/sawdust
-Turqoise jewelry
-My perfume
-Crest 3D white toothpaste
-Puppies!
-Bruises
-Picking out slivers
-Biolage shampoo and conditioner
-Rearranging rooms
-Mascara
-Family get togethers/holidays
-Four wheelin
-Crunchy leaves in the fall
-Norwegian things
-New York!

........My choice..........

So after this whole "Wade" thing, I kind of went on a drinking binge. It was my little twisted way of thinking I was doing fine without him, and hanging out with his best friend so he would get jealous, cause all he ever does is sit at home with his family. Also my best friend recently turned 21, so that makes my situation a lot easier for me to just get drunk whenever i wanted to. I realize that I was drinking like every single day for like 2 weeks, and that was just not good. Then I stopped drinking every day, and I noticed that its so much harder for me to wake up in the morning after a good, sober nights sleep! When I was getting drunk everyday, I made it to EVERY single class! And I woke up feeling super awake and ready for the day. Now every morning it is a serious struggle to get myself to get up and go to school. Its super ironic. i think? Not sure if thats the right way to use the word ironic, but it works in my head. I just dont get how i can seriously function better every day if i drink. Dummb. Also, Im super excited I finally decided 100% I am going to be going to UMC next fall!!!! I loooove the campus and I decided my major and I feel super productive because I figured alot of stuff out today. Alsoooo I keep saying the word super and I dont know why. I feel ditzy right now. Oooohhh well I am sooo happy that I figured that out, and I am going to be moving to fisher with my cousin (hopefully)!!!! I found these superrrr cute town homes that are really cheap there! And fisher is smack dab in the middle of EGF and Crookston, because I still plan on working in EGF, atleast for now. Ok wellllllll I should probably go to bed because I know Ill be really tired in the morning!!!

Favorite Memory :)

Well I tried to think about what my favorite memory would be, but I have way too many, so I'm just going to write about one.
My best friend of 13 years, Tia, has an island/fishing resort that her parents own. Its in Ontario, Canada, off of the northwest angle. We used to go up there so much when we were younger. Even though its on an island, there was so much we used to do for fun.. One of my faaaavorite things in the world to do is canoe. So we would take the canoe around the bay where there are about 5 surrounding abandoned islands. One time we decided to pack a little picnic and bring the dog with too. We were about 14 years old, and so we decided to take a couple beers from the alcohol fridge of her dads. This was both of our first tastes of beer ever. We were so disgusted from the first sip that we dumped it all out into the lake. After that we stopped and had a picnic on one of the empty islands. I was so afraid of bears, because they are known to go out there, so i was nervous the whole time. We seen a storm was rolling in, so we decided to leave. It started totally downpouring on us the trip back, and we were rowing with all our might, and it was so hard. We got back and were completely drenched. I love going up to her island and now i need to get a stupid passport just to go to canada, even though i live 6 miles from the border. just dumb.

Suade

Ok so this is my choice blog. I am behind by like, 3 so I have some catching up to do. Right now I am just going to write about what is on my mind, which happens to be a stupid stupid boy named Wade, or Suade, as we call him. I met wade at work. I work at a gas station where all the local farmers have charge accounts for their farms. Wade is a farmer, and charges his fuel there. This is how we met two years ago. We started off great! I remember when he first held my hand and i was sooooo excited. It was all so innocent and I just loved it. Lately I started to feel like he didnt respect me, so one night I got drunk and sent him a 5-page long text bitching him out kind of. It was sort of mean, but totally truthful. This was almost three weeks ago and he hasnt said a word to me since. I cant stop thinking about him! Seriously I dont understand why he got so mad, and why he is now ignoring me. He is almost 25, but sometimes he acts like hes more like 40, but right now hes acting like 15. I have talked to my mom about this, because I dont know what to do, because Im not used to guys like him. He is more reserved and just plain different from any guys im used to. She told me that if I think he is worth fighting for then to fight for him, but I dont know how much harder I can fight for him! He is just one guy and I have pride. Im also too damn stubborn to apologize! Ahhhhhhhhhh. ok that was me venting. On to the next blog.